Obama and email

We learn from the news that Pres. Obama is going to have to give up email. It's the fear of FOIA, you see.

Anyway, one of the Sleepless IT gals somehow got blind copied on a bunch of Obama's emails. She only got Obama's side of the conversation, so you have to fill in the missing parts. We didn't want to do it, but In the interest of public awareness we have no choice but to publish them. So here goes. Remember, these are Obama's outgoing emails only.

-Dear Minister. Thank you for the kind email notifying me about that Nigerian treasurer's money you wish to put in my personal bank account. Please put it in my campaign chest instead.

-I just received another email saying I wasn't really born in Hawaii. Can we squash this by simply showing my birth certificate?

-What???? Then make up something!!!! NOW!!!!!

-OMG, we one! Get it? "One" instead of "won." Pretty good, huh? I got a million of 'em. I should do standup! "Yo mamma so fat she ... um ... uh ..." I'll get back to you.

-It's President Elect Barack Obama! Stop calling me "O!"

-There was a Fox News reporter out there picking his nose. GET THAT SLOB OUT OF THERE!

-What? He's with MSNBC? He's one of ours. Tell him he can stay, and I'm sorry, blah blah blah and all that BS.

-Secretary of State? Are you out of your mind? I wouldn't appoint her dog catcher!

-Reverend Jeremiah, thanks for the letter. I hope you enjoyed the vacation. About your request, we would love to have you at the White House. But we're all booked up for the near future, check back in 2012. Late 2012.

-Bill Ayers! Bless you dog. I couldn't have pulled this off if you hadn't clammed up like you did. I owe you, man.

-Yo Rezko, thanks for the shout out. Now shut the F___ up!

-Hey Bill. Dubya wouldn't say squat. Where can a brother hide his stash in the House?