Here's a neat chart for the Latte set navel gazers. It's probably as accurate as Astrology, i.e., enough generalizations and pretentiousness to make it halfway believable to those who need it. Source thedoghousediaries.com. Via blameitonthevoices.com.
Notably missing is my favorite: a cup of leftover ordinary coffee gone cold. You're lazy and uncreative. You're very boring and uninspiring. You're too cheap to go to Starbucks. You're as cold as the coffee you're drinking. Yeah, that sounds about right.