A fellow went to an IRS office and told them he lost his parrot. The IRS agent said, "You don't need to come down here and tell us. If you think you're entitled to a deduction put it on your tax return." The fellow said, "Oh, no, I don't care about that. I just wanted you to know that I don't agree with a word that parrot says!"
Two friends were talking. One says, "Do you think Obama has finished delivering the hope and change he promised?" The other says, "Oh no, things are going to get much worse!
OK, you've heard these before only in a different context. They were paraphrased from jokes Ronald Reagan told about the Soviet Union. See for yourself at Reagan tells Soviet jokes. They're still funny after all these years.