Oh great Carnac, we've been told we must engage in a conversation about race, but all we get is lectures. We seek your wisdom, so please answer some questions for us.
Question: What is the difference between Reverend Al Sharpton and Phil Robertson?
Carnac: One inspires racial hostility while hiding behind a religious veneer. The other calls ducks while hiding in a blind.
Question: What is the difference between Paula Deen and Oprah Winfrey?
Carnac: One is a Southern born fat huckster who can't hold her tongue. The other is a TV cooking show host.
Question: What is the difference between Jesse Jackson and Donald Sterling?
Carnac: One is an old racist profiteer who cavorted with younger women and threatened to mutilate President Obama. The other is a basketball team owner.
Thank you great Carnac. We have a much better understanding of race issues now.