Sleepless in Midland

National Sarcasm Society -- like they need our support

Just one of many funny pictures found at eatliver.com.

Actually, there is a Sarcasm Society where someone can try to learn how to be sarcastic if they wanted to. I would advise against it, though. I learned it early on, and it has taken me a lifetime to unlearn it. Sarcasm is a solitary humor that is usually enjoyed by the person who creates it but no one else.

An expensive apostrophe

A Welsh View directs us to this typo. Or maybe it was just a case of not knowing the proper usage of an apostrophe. When "it" has possession the rules get thrown for a loop.

It's a Range Rover magazine advertisement, and this mistake must have been seen by dozens of people before the magazine hit the stands. But it probably passed under the radar of a lot of magazine readers, too.

In all fairness, mistakes like this are easy to overlook. Recently I found a horrendous mistake in one of my blog post titles from last summer. But that's the beauty of blogging, mistakes are fixable. Catching them is another matter altogether.

Yo 'bama, what should I wear today?

Cute website -- it connects to Weather.com to get your local forecast, then it tells you what kind of clothes you should wear based on the temperature forecast. Just so that you'll know it's trustworthy, the President himself, in caricature, models the clothes.

Obama as weatherman -- You'll know when to change.  Change you can believe in! At ObamaWeather.com.

Via The Daily What.

Carve your own virtual pumpkin, no mess!

Someone sent me a funny photo showing three stages of a beer drinking carved pumpkin, and the last one appeared to be vomiting pumpkin innards. It would have been fun to post it here, but I couldn't locate the source.

No matter. This is just as good and lets the viewer participate. Yeah, it's a day late, but it still has some entertainment value. It's Virtual Pumpkin, a flash game in which you can carve a pumpkin to your heart's content.

Headless Marie Antoinette costume -- just the thing this Halloween

The Obama mask was all the rage last Halloween, and the scary factor proved prophetic. So what kind of costume will thrill folks this year and also send a political message?

Picture a headless Marie Antoinette in commemoration of a ruling class that lost connection with the people they sought to rule. It's homemade, and here is a step-by-step guide at Esty.

Via Neatorama.

The Firecrackers jump rope team

These gals are amazing. They're dancing. They're doing acrobatics. They're jumping rope. It's all of these, and it's an astonishing display of athletic achievement.

They are 4th-8th grade girls from the Kings Local School District in Ohio who make up the Firecrackers. The FAQ tells how they got started:

The Firecrackers grew out of an elementary school physical education exposition. Coach Lynn Kelly was looking for a rhythmic activity that could be choreographed to music. She found some jump ropes, a few interested students and some good music. The response to the activity was so positive, that it was suggested that the group perform at halftime of a Junior Varsity basketball game. More overwhelmingly positive feedback lead the team to perform at more high school games and then eventually college and NBA basketball games.

Watch this Youtube video taken at a Naval Academy basketball game earlier this year then come back here and try to say you weren't impressed.

Via Bookworm and Chaos Manor.

Better to hear you with, my dear -- Implanting a third ear

This example of body part augmentation is fascinating in a carnival freak-show way. And yet the potential is very intriguing.

He had a prosthetic ear constructed with polyethylene material and implanted in his forearm. In a second surgery they implanted a microphone and transmitter so that it could actually "hear." Unfortunately, it caused an infection -- after all, it is very experimental -- and they had to remove it a few weeks later. But they aren't giving up. Here's an excerpt from the guy's website:

The final procedure will re-implant a miniature microphone to enable a wireless connection to the Internet, making the ear a remote listening device for people in other places. For example, someone in Venice could listen to what my ear is hearing in Melbourne.

Read all about it, and see -- gasp -- photos here. More at Design Boom.

James Bond, call your office.

Via Flavorwire.

The cutest dancing baby video in Youtube history

It's the baby dancing to the Beyonce video. It's soooo cute!

Here's a 50 second version. And here's one with a 2:48 duration.

A dusty day down under

They had a bad air day in Sydney, Australia, the other day in the form of a nasty dust storm. Some photos have been posted online here, here and here.

It looks very much like a very bad West Texas dust storm especially with the red air.  But it is made much worse when people drive on the wrong side of the highway.

A hat tip goes to George and Paula Richards who live way down under in the Gold Coast area of Australia.  Be safe, y'all.

More amazing Blu wall art

It's a series of still photos as a guy paints a courtyard and surrounding walls to give an illusion of an animated motion picture. Watch Youtube video. It's amazing stuff and makes one wonder how he got that paint to dry so fast.

Perhaps you'll remember a previous one posted here early this year.

Via Laughing Squid.

Updated: Dang. I need to check friendly blogs more frequently. Fireant Gazette posted Blu's art video yesterday.  He certailny has great taste.

Not Smarter Than a 5th Grader

The other night a group of local volunteers gathered to celebrate their achievements with a dinner party and entertainment in the form of a game of "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" Question: Were they smarter? Answer: Yes.

Here's a sampling of questions, see how you would do:

1. What are the three states of Matter?
A. Animal, vegetable and mineral
B. Solid, liquid and gas
C. Cash, check or credit
D. Paper or plastic

2. The long bone in the human arm connecting the shoulder and elbow is called what?
A. Humerus bone
B. Funny bone
C. Comical bone
D. Hilarious bone

3. What is the third rock from the sun most commonly called?

4. A doe is a deer, a female deer. What is a ray?

5. Which side of the human heart pumps the blood out to most of the body?
A. Left side
B. Right side
C. Wrong side
D. Down side

6. A moving object tends to continue moving unless something stops it. That's due to:
A. The law of gravity
B. The law of inertia
C. Mother Nature
D. Father Time

Pretty easy, huh? Here are the answers in case they weren't:

1. B. Solid, liquid and gas
2. A. Humerus bone
3. Earth -- In order from the sun the planets are: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.
4. A ray is a drop of golden sun if you've seen "The Sound Of Music."
5. A. Left side.
6. B. Law of Inertia, also known as Newton's law of motion.

If you get in a situation in which you need to come up some "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" questions there is a show companion book available on Amazon.com -- see image above. It's a good starting point. But the questions are rather dry, so if you hope to get a chuckle they need a little bit of work.

"There is no cure for curiosity "-- great quotes from Dorothy Parker

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.”

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie. "

"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. "

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. "

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania."

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'"

"The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism. "

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

More from Parker here, here, and here.

No crying at this wedding

This wedding video has been viewed 10 million times as of the time of this writing, and if you haven't seen it yet, you are in for a treat. It's a march down the isle unlike any other wedding march. See the video at Youtube.

As seen on Hot Air.

The moonwalk, not as easy as it looks

Here's a tribute to Michael Jackson which consists of row after row of people doing the moonwalk in short viewer submitted videos. It's EternalMoonwalk.com, and the videos scroll across the screen with each moonwalker getting a couple of seconds in the center spot.

There are thousands of them, and one thing becomes painfully obvious, it's not that easy to mimic someone with the dancing skills of Michael Jackson. If you get a string of bad ones, search for numbers 1956, 5724 or 2455.

Via BermanPost.com.

What planet are you from?

One would have to be from another planet not to know about the alleged UFO touch down in Roswell, NM, way back in '47. It had a very rational explanation, but that shouldn't interfere with the need to party.

Some community minded individual had the brilliant idea to celebrate the event with an annual Rowell UFO Festival, and it has to be the envy of communities all across the country. "Why couldn't the space aliens have landed in our town?"

The event is going on this weekend. And your faithful blogger made the journey to Roswell to help celebrate the arrival of the visitors from outer space. (Day trip only, no room at the inns.)

There were several events planned for the celebration throughout the weekend, including a visit from the actor Malcolm McDowell and concerts by Jefferson Starship. But most importantly, costume contests!

If there's one thing that scientists know, it's that earthlings and extraterrestrials share a love for dogs. And no close encounter of the third kind would be complete without an Alien Pet Contest so canines from space could strut their stuff and show off their costumes.

Then there was a contest for the humanoid type aliens. What a sight to behold. The photos you see in this post are just teasers, see more at Roswell 2009.

From the editor: One shouldn't address extraterrestrials with a sentence or question ending in a preposition. -- ed

OK, so what planet are you from, space monkey?

Strange things show up on Google Maps

There are probably hundreds of unusual images a patient searcher could find on the satellite photos on Google Maps. A few of these unusual images were compiled at Map of Strange, and they are indeed usual. Here are a couple (captions added).

Here are links to the boat on the roof and the time warped parking lot.

Via Madville.

A couple of cool videos

First up, the Houston Ship Channel as seen from a ship. It's either stop action or a sped up video, and it's a view of the Houston Ship Channel that most of us haven't seen. The crane goes down, the deck lights go off, and a tug pulls the ship out into the channel for a journey to the Gulf. Click to watch it. Via.

Next up, a cool made for TV explosion on a San Francisco overpass. Here's a link to the video. And here's a link to some still shots. Via Heather Tompkins.

Also at Heather Tompkins's site is this attention-getting arm cast painted to look like a skeleton. Click Cast Away to see it. It's certainly a good example of making the most of a bad thing.

So you're smarter than a 5th grader, now go take the 6th grade sex ed test.

Go here to take the test. Is if safe for work? Probably not, but if you should be working anyway then it really doesn't matter.

Via Neatorama.

Remedial reading.

Monday Diversion -- a remarkable video

It's really just a commercial, and that's probably what justified the expense. It's a video ad for Phillips' wide screen Cinema 21:9 LCD TV which they say is "the world's first cinema proportioned television screen."

I don't know how they do this, but it's like a still shot of a very unusual scene; a horrific battle between police and gun wielding clowns. We go with the camera into this scene and see the frozen action as the camera twists, turns, goes up, goes down, for a two minute 19 second video -- 2:19, get it?

You can see it on Youtube. But it's better to watch it the way they intended at the Phillips site where the viewer can stop it at certain points to see a director walk on scene as if he were actually directing it. "Now hold that for five hours," he quips at one point.  It's worth a look.

Via Neatorama.

Test your hearing against a teenager

It's the teenager audio test. Link.

Supposedly it's a sound that can only be heard by those under 25 years of age. I'm over 25, and I can't hear it, but that doesn't prove anything. So I sought an expert opinion from an old friend, Dr. George Richards, who is an audiologist way down under in the Gold Coast area of Australia. Here's his reply:

I could not get the player to work so I did not get to listen to the recording. It is a well know fact that the older we get the less range we have in our hearing . However I have tested people that are well over 25 that have very good audio range. We have electronic devices that emit a high frequency sound that does help keep the bugs off of you and it does seems to work. I can hear the device if I place it close enough to my ear and Paula can hear the damn thing across the room. So who knows? I would say it is just bullshit but who knows? Are you being invaded by kids mate? Try a 12 gauge loaded with rock salt, they can hear that I bet.

Heh heh, that may test another sense as well, G.R. I'm not having that problem, but thanks for the tip!

Slammin' Rappers

Channel surfing the other night turned up Little Stevie Wonder giving a concert to a small suited audience. And right there on the front row were the President, the First Lady, Joe Biden and others, presumably first friends. And they were all bobbing and nodding to the rhythm of Mr. Wonder singing "Superstition."

Barack and Michelle were probably wishing they didn't have to sit there listening to music from their parents' generation, but they put on a good front. Well, what about some rap?

OK, that's really just a lead in to a funny website. They take lines out of rap songs that make absolutely no sense, then they give the rapper a vicious put down. It's pretty funny in a savage sort of way.

I would put a sample here, but the funniest ones use the foulest language. Heck, even the name could raise eyebrows. So here's the link in a plain wrapper. Needless to say, it's not safe for work, unless maybe you work at the White House.

Via Metafilter.

Holy Hero Factory, Batman!

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's, it's ... YOU!

Deep down inside, you know who you are -- a super hero waiting for that opportunity. A caped crusader? A crime fighting super hero? Able to leap tall buildings with a single bound? Truth, justice, the American way. It's all in there just waiting to get out.

Release the crime fighting super hero in you!

Or start from scratch and build your own super hero at HeroFactory. [Via The Breda Fallacy.]

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Shifting gears, if you wondered what your ancestors looked like, I mean your ancestors from waaaaaaay back there, like a half million to 3.7 millions of years, click Devolve Me, upload a photo of yourself, and watch it devolve. (So easy a cave man could do it.)

 

Sunday Diversions 1/4/09

1.  Graffiti or art?

Art. It's MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU. (Same video at Youtube.)

It's stop action animation from still photos of wall drawings. It starts as a brick is pushed out of a wall from behind, a character emerges from the hole and proceeds along the wall and around the corner, transforming itself/himself several times. It must have taken a very long time to make this, and we get to see it all happen in a mere seven minutes.

Via Joe Hathaway.

Also worth watching: Blu in Berlin - November 2008.  (Same artist.)

2. Ya gotta keep laughing.

A collection of the best financial jokes of 2008.  From the FP Trading Desk, here are a couple of samples:

"Get my broker, Miss Jones."
"Yes sir. Stock, or Pawn?"

What’s the definition of optimism?
An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.

(The don't all sound like Henny Youngman.)

You gotta have a seal

Make your own seal at this Official Seal Generator.

 

It's great fun! Give it a try.

Clouds over Mt. Rainier

Apparently this phenomenon occurs a few times a year, and it creates a remarkable looking cloud formation. See some photos at Mt. Rainier puts on a show.

Here's the explanation:

The cloud is formed when warm, moist air runs into the surface of Mt. Rainier. The mountain's topography forces the air upward, which cools and condenses the air -- turning it into a cloud.

As the air sinks back on the other side of the mountain, it dries out and the cloud dissipates. That's why it just hangs over the summit area.

(Although it looks like it is "hanging" over the mountain, air is continually flowing over the summit.)

Thanks Sis.

Sunday Diversions 11/23/08

For starters -- Evelien Lohbeck studied animation in the Netherlands and has produced some interesting little movies. See her work at her Youtube page, and if you've ever used a notebook computer check out Noteboek.

Moving right along -- Do people actually read the words on T-shirts people wear? Do the wearers pick their T-shirts for the occasion? See 15 most unfortunate T-shirts for a mugshot and judge for yourself. Some examples: "Wish you were here." "Nobody's perfect." "Every great idea I have gets me in trouble."

Graffiti or art?

Here's an interesting set of photos of painted storm drains. They are all very creative, and some are quite amusing. Here's a sample.

Check out the whole series at storm drain graffiti.

Via Quick Notes.