According to entertainment lore, David Letterman may have been Johnny Carson's closest comedian friend. Letterman's show was in re-runs last week, and Monday's performance was his first show following Carson's death. And, it was Letterman's tribute to Johnny Carson
Just a couple of weeks before Johnny died there were news reports that Carson was sending jokes to Letterman for use on his show. And, Monday night's audience didn't learn this for a few minutes into the show, but Letterman's opening monologue was made up entirely of jokes that Carson had sent in over the past few months. In case you missed it, here they are:
How about this for bad news. Here in New York City the basic cab fare, say you're from out of town, if you want to take a cab some place, the basic cab fare has gone up from $2.00 to $2.50. Or as any cab driver can tell you, that's a 22 rupee increase.
Here's a sad story. I hated to hear about this. Paris Hilton has a dog named Tinker Bell. And Tinker Bell was missing for a while. Don't worry, they found Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell was with the Taco Bell Chihuahua making a sex video.
How many people are on a low carb diet? And do you find that's it's effective, a low carb diet? Everything is low carb. They have a low carb beer. They have low carb pizza, low carb ice cream. And earlier today I was reading in the Times something that makes no sense to me. You can now actually buy low carb condoms. Were you aware of that? Makes no sense.
This was interesting and kind of strange. John Kerry, you know John Kerry. [some applause and some cheering] You heard he didn't win. [audience laughter] Well he was criticized for throwing away his military service medals. So, not to be outdone, President Bush threw away his National Guard Spotty Attendance Ribbon.
You know President Bush was overseas. He was in Rome visiting the Pope. You see those photos? Oh my God! That poor guy, he looked old, he looked confused, like he didn't know where he was. Then the Pope told Bush to relax and enjoy himself and everything was fine after that.
And, then on his way back President Bush stopped in Canada where he received a cool reception. But, on the bright side, he was able to go to a Canadian drugstore to fill his prescription. So, that was something good for him.
I saw this in the paper over the weekend, and the Red Cross went into Iraq to interview what's his name, Saddam Husein, you know. He's apparently out of it. He kept asking "when is Sean Penn coming back?" That's a bad sign.
But, this is kind of exiting. These guys have built a rocket ship and they're sending people into outer space. And they went up and it's unbelievable. they set new records, altitude records for civilian space craft 50, miles into space. And from that height there are two things, two man made things that are visible from 50 miles up. One, of curse is the great wall of China. And the other - Donald Trump's hair.
You can decide for yourself whether Johnny still had the touch.
I loved watching Carnac the Magnificent with my dad when I was little. He would always call me out when it was on.
Posted by: Bert9785 | February 03, 2005 at 11:48 PM