Interesting complaint to the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality. More interesting is the response. (You can read it in PDF form here. Via The Faculty Lounge.)
What follows is a quick and dirty transcript:
First the complaint:
Initial Problem
Limestone County
On 03/09/2010 a complaint was received at the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality Waco Regional Office. The complaint alleged that [named individual] had been leasing out a hunting cabin and allowing the hunters to deficate in the woods. It also alleged that there is no restroom, and Mr. [named individual] is planning to extend plumbing into a creek next to cabin. The cabin is located at ... (Limestone County), Texas ...
Action Taken
... On 03/17/2010 this complaint was referred to Judge Daniel Burkeen, Authorized Agent, Limestone County, for further investigation.
So here's the good part, the Judge's reply:
March 31, 2010
Mr. Tim Blackmon
Water and Waste Section Work Leader
Waco Regional Office
Texas Commission on Environmental Quality
RE: TCEQ Incident No. 136926
Dear Tim,
We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us. The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight. The culprit flew away, but I did get a description. It was red. The gift it left was white.
In order to complete our investigation, I must ask, we should inquire into urination, or only defecation? I strongly believe that both are taking place, since hunters have long been suspected of taking a good amount of liquid refreshments with them into the woods. Also, we are collecting samples of the activities of these diabolical, defecating reprobates. Should we send these to you, or directly to Austin?
Lastly, please allow us to handle this a the local level, and do not involve the federal government. When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrats would only add to our misery.
"Don't Mess in Texas."
Very Truly Yours,
/signature/
Daniel Burkeen
Ha ha! That's telling them, Judge. Hunters shouldn't have to "hold it in" because the nanny state, formerly big brother, might be watching.
On the other hand, the guy's plan to run a sewer line into the nearby creek doesn't sound like a very neighborly thing to do.
If you want to know anything about what my family is like, I don’t think you will be disappointed if you go here. My nephew’s story of having to use the bathroom in the woods.
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