Welcome to Earth. We hear that you are monitoring our global warming and plan to invade our planet because of it. Source and quote:
Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.
That's not necessary, because we welcome you with open arms.
We are a very peaceful people, and we love one another regardless of race, color, creed or planet of origin. Sure we get in occasional spats, but for the most part those little skirmishes get resolved peacefully. Some of them continue to fester, but once there's a final resolution, i.e., one side gives the other a royal beatdown, the dispute ends, and the two sides get alone.
It's all just a matter showing who's boss. It's quite simple, really.
Once you arrive we'll treat you with all the respect you deserve. We love all species, even the ugly ones. And we might even be able to love someone, or thing, that looks like you. Photo souce.
Can I be frank? With that bulbous head and odd shaped eyes you aren't exactly a calendar pinup. Maybe that huge head means you've got a big brain. But down here, size doesn't matter. And what's with those big nocturnal eyes? You live on some planet that doesn't have daytime?
But those spindly arms and legs are the tell. Your planet doesn't have enough gravity stop spit. Here on earth a strong wind just might blow you over. So you had better watch it, dude, if you can even call yourself a dude. We don't even want to know how you tell your sexes apart. And what about reproduction? You probably lay eggs like some kind of slimy reptile.
In these parts, the only reptile that's safe is on the endangered species list. And if you try to invade us you might just end up an endangered species yourself. Just try it. We are armed to the teeth, and it will be open season on you space lizards.
OK, I've tried to be friendly, but noooo. You 're all, "Let's invade Earth, let's invade Earth!" Well, we've got your invasion right here, buster.
Oh, but of course, we would never hurt you. We really are a friendly planet. We just want to make sure you get a good and proper assimilation.
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