[This article is about season 1 of American Horror Story.]
TV can be educational when it tries to be. Live humans have a fascination with ghosts, and the recently ended TV series helped answer some frequently asked questions about ghosts. This post will attempt to set forth these rules as learned from the TV show American Horror Story.
For background, American Horror Story was about a house in Los Angeles which was built in the 1920s but quickly became haunted when murders were committed by the first occupants. Each homeowner to follow met some horrible end, and all of the dead now haunt the house.
That brings us to the present day for this multi-ghost residence. A gentle family from Boston found the house for sale online and couldn't pass up the bargain. Some bargain. The series ended with the last of the surviving family members meeting a violent end. That's the show in a nut shell. But it's worth a look, if for no other reason, than to see Jessica Lange play the most entertainingly unlikeable mother to grace the screen since Mommy Dearest.
Now, Rules for Ghosts:
1. Some ghosts can leave the house in which they died, but others end up in an endless loop when they try to leave -- they walk out one door but it's really just another entrance to the same house so they come right back in. Some can leave the house as a passenger in an automobile, however before they reach their destination, they will become invisible when the driver's attention is diverted, and they will be mysteriously transported back to the house.
2. Ghosts can be visible or invisible to humans at their option.
3. When they are visible, most ghosts appear as they did at death. Some, but not all, still display the wound that killed them.
4. Ghosts don't age. Most of them remain the same age they were at death whether they were infants, children, teenagers or adults.
5. A cleaning lady ghost is capable of appearing in two separate bodies, one old and homely, the other young and sexy, although not at the same time.
6. Ghosts can't be injured or killed, however if they incur a visible wound they might display that wound for a short while. For example, a ghost can be disemboweled or shot in the forehead but he or she will recover in short order, and the wound will disappear.
7. Ghosts can injure or kill live humans. However, a live human killed in the house by either a ghost or a live human will become another ghost in that house.
8. Ghosts and live humans can copulate.
9. Female ghosts can't get pregnant. However, male ghosts can impregnate live females, but a baby born of a human who was impregnated by a male ghost will be evil and might even be the Antichrist.
10. When a live person or another ghost says to a ghost, "go away," the ghost must go away.
Unknowns: The life span of a ghost and what happens if the house they inhabit is demolished.
If you live in a haunted house maybe these rules will be of use, especially number 10. Disclaimer: We cannot be held responsible if your ghost varies from these rules.