A local (Midland, Texas) petitioner is seeking a change of the name, Robert E. Lee High School, to something else. If you follow the news, you'll know why this is happening now. The newspaper article announcing the effort -- Midland ISD alumni behind petition for Lee name change -- doesn't suggest any new names. But have no fear, we are here to help.
First up: Robert Lee High School. No, not General Robert E. Lee but Robert Lee, the Asian-American ESPN announcer who got bounced from broadcasting a game because of his name. School groundskeepers could simply paint over the "E" where ever the school's full name appears.
Don't like that one? Here's another one: Clarence Thomas High School. He's a real hero who made it through Joe Biden's high tech lynch mob to become a Supreme Court Justice. And he's a good one! Oh, he's African American, so that should shut off many complaints.
Next up, Midland High School #2. There's already a Midland High School named after the city where it is situated. To keep the names absolutely neutral, start numbering them. Easy enough.
How about Caitlyn Jenner High School? Political correctness is all the rage these days. And attempts to pass bathroom bills get condemnation from all Democrats plus the heads of some of the largest corporations. So a transgender Olympian should shut them up, for a while.
But wait. If that's where we are going, Tona Brown High School. She was the first African American transgender to sing AND play a violin at Carnegie Hall. A twofer?
Moving along, the Rebel mascot would have to be replaced, too. For the new mascot I would recommend, The Facebooks. There probably isn't a student around who is not on Facebook. So why not name the mascot for their favorite forum?
Along those lines, maybe The iPhones might be just as appropriate, if not more so. At least the iPhone is a solid object rather than an internet portal. The students could hold up their iPhones when the team scores a touchdown, if teams are still allowed to score touchdowns. But that's a subject for another day. The PC police haven't shut down competitive sports yet, so there's still time to celebrate a victory.
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1:59 PM 8/24/2017
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